24 Jokes About Working Out That Will Make You Say “Me” – BuzzFeed News


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Health

Huff, puff, pass… —me trying to run this morning.

1.

My first workout back at the gym was great…
I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the
defibrillator, and then 3 days in the
hospital.

— Joel (@joeljeffrey)

ID: 10231108

2.

[at the gym] Me: what does this machine do?
“Sir, that’s a bench.” Me: perfect.

— Spanky McDutcherson (@thatdutchperson)

ID: 10197069

3.

Huff, puff, pass… – Me trying to run this
morning.

— Girl On Tapas 💚 (@girlontapas)

ID: 10230875

4.

The most grueling part of my workout is
putting jeans on in the locker room when I’m
still kinda wet from the shower.

— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola)

ID: 10231838

5.

Ugh, who has time to work out? -I say before
a 45 minute nap.

— Angie B (@angibangie)

ID: 10231011

6.

Just stopped in the middle of my run to pet a
golden retriever puppy, am I doing fitness
right?

— Lindsay Holmes (@lindsaygholmes)

ID: 10231261

7.

Me: Can’t. I’m exhausted from all the
CrossFit this morning. Him: It’s pronounced
‘croissant’ & how the hell did you eat
the entire dozen?!

— Lisa Marie (@xLiserx)

ID: 10231085

8.

I’m the best at pretending there’s something
wrong with the machine at the gym when I
don’t know how to use it.

— Zachary Flynn (@zacharyflynn)

ID: 10231266

9.

My workout playlist is one song.

— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham)

ID: 10231100

10.

Sit-ups are the best exercise because they
include the most lying down.

— Spencer Robinson (@13spencer)

ID: 10231223

11.

Thing I Counted As Exercise Today: Going to
exchange a sweater but forgetting the
sweater, then eating a burrito and going
home.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman)

ID: 10231676

12.

I cried at the gym today bc the elevator was
broken & I had to take the stairs. It was
like they made me exercise b4 I was gonna
exercise

— nicole byer (@nicolebyer)

ID: 10231681

13.

Just added ‘Wandering Around the Parking Lot
Looking for My Car’ as another Track Exercise
on my Fitbit.

— 🎅🏻Ho Ho Jo (@Just__J0)

ID: 10231180

14.

How to get ready for the #gym: Throw on
sports bra Put on leggings & comfy top
Grab shaker cup Pour wine into it Sit on
couch Netflix

— Gina Livorsi (@GinaLivorsii)

ID: 10231245

15.

I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that’ll
be a fun new thing to trip over while I
search for the remote.

— Spanky McDutcherson (@thatdutchperson)

ID: 10230982

16.

My favorite gym day is when I do 20 minutes
of untangling my ear buds and then leave
because I’m hungry.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer)

ID: 10231228

17.

I was going to go running but no one was
chasing me.

— n2o (@1evilidiot)

ID: 10231105

18.

I’ve never done CrossFit but I have chased my
shopping list through a windy parking lot
before.

— SuperRandomish📎 (@SuperRandomish)

ID: 10231092

19.

My exercise plan: I will not stop coming to
this gym until I have memorized all
syndicated seasons of Bones via closed
captioning.

— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins)

ID: 10231683

20.

[at the gym] “Excuse me where are the stepper
machines?” Up on the 2nd floor *takes the
elevator*

— dan mentos (@DanMentos)

ID: 10231267

21.

I thought a spin cycle class was about
laundry.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell)

ID: 10231094

22.

Gym Instructor: I’m sorry, what did you say
your goal was? Me: [louder and slower] I want
to be able to throw myself over a moat

— Bea_ker (@bea_ker)

ID: 10231682

23.

“What the fuck are we doing” – my legs during
recreational jogging

— jonnifer lopez (@senderblock23)

ID: 10231720

24.

Fitness status: Saved a bunch of workout
videos on fb for later. Much later. Probably
never look at them again.

— The Eh Factor 🇨🇦 (@AngelaEhh)

ID: 10231737

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Tagged:fitness, exercise, funny tweets,
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