26 Tweets That Are Only Funny If You’re Currently Bleeding From Your Vagina


Health

“I don’t need my period tracker. I just pointed at a squirrel
and said, ‘You’re a beautiful fuckwad, you know that?'”

Posted on May 28, 2017, 14:01 GMT

1.

If I lie down for 22 hours a day during my period and
stay away from anyone with an opinion, it’s, like,
pretty manageable.

06:13
PM – 29 Mar 2017

2.

I wish my PMS would manifest itself in a desire to
clean rather than a desire to invent foods to put salsa
on

06:26
PM – 29 Apr 2012

3.

I have my period so according to commercials I guess I
should put in a tampon and go cycling now or something.

07:30
AM – 20 Dec 2014

4.

[me watching HGTV on my period] I don’t even care if
they love it or list it , i just hope they’re happy as
a family

01:05
AM – 31 Mar 2017

5.

ive made myself a menstrual hut in the office if you
find it pls come by periodically to bring me snacks
& then immediately leave me alone

05:20
PM – 11 Aug 2016

6.

Nurse: Name? Me: Erica Nurse: Drug allergies? Me:
Penicillin Nurse: 1st day of last period? Me: Umm…Can’t
remember. Ask Dunkin Donuts.

11:17
PM – 06 Nov 2013

7.

I never wear white during my period because it’d be
embarrassing if I got bloodstains from killing someone
who asked if I’m on my period

02:35
AM – 29 Nov 2016

9.

I don’t need a period tracker app I just know it’s
coming when I start masturbating to mall pretzels.

01:25
AM – 08 Jan 2016

10.

My doctor asked where I was in my menstrual cycle so I
told her I’m on the ‘assuming everyone is mad at me’
day.

05:16
PM – 12 May 2017

11.

putting my overheating macbook charger on my stomach to
help period cramps because I’m a modern woman

05:59
AM – 14 May 2017

14.

forgot butter and ran down to the market with no bra
and period boobs and i get why people get reductions
now

11:44
PM – 10 Nov 2015

15.

If you do absolutely anything at all while on your
period you should be given a Nobel Prize and a mountain
of the food of your choice.

11:02
PM – 04 Jan 2017

16.

I don’t need to check my period tracker. I just pointed
at a squirrel and said, “You’re a beautiful fuckwad,
you know that?”

03:27
PM – 27 Jan 2016

17.

I feel like my period is throwing a Project X-style
rager inside me right now. Like its parents went away
for the weekend & my uterus is lit

12:22
AM – 06 Feb 2016

18.

Please specify reason for your merchandise return: -Too
big -Too small -Wrong color -Damaged ✔ PMS

11:54
PM – 29 Aug 2013

19.

If you’ve never had period cramps, have you ever been
stabbed repeatedly in the lower abdomen? It’s that but
less fun.

11:22
PM – 19 Oct 2015

20.

things I’ve cried about on my period recently 1. a
car’s sparkly paint job (reason: so PRETTY) 2. my dying
plant (reason: i kill everything)

09:59
PM – 02 Nov 2015

21.

I wish that instead of apologizing, you could tell
people “today is brought to you by my period”

05:09
PM – 19 Dec 2014

22.

My friend calls her period her “Aunt Flo.” I call mine
“Fuck This Shit, I’m Getting Wasted And Eating Reese’s
Pieces.”

04:21
PM – 01 May 2013

25.

Menstruation is a pretty metal adaptation. Like, no I
don’t want to fuck right now. To further my point
here’s some BLOOD.

08:00
AM – 26 Nov 2013

26.

a lot of women hate getting their period and I don’t
know why. I personally love laying on the couch eating
chocolate and praying for death

05:57
PM – 17 May 2015



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