Here’s How People Actually Orgasm



BuzzFeed asked people to share what it took to finally make
them orgasm. Here are their open and honest answers.

Posted on April 20, 2017, 14:01 GMT

Oscar Bolton Green for BuzzFeed News

Orgasms can be tricky. Not only do they not teach How To
Get Off 101 in sex ed, but it can also take a lot of
experimenting to find out exactly what your body responds to
and what you need in order to orgasm.

To show that there’s no one-size-fits-all path to orgasming,
asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to
describe their first noteworthy orgasms. Here are just some
of the responses:


“I had been with a lot of guys, but it never felt right. They
never made an effort to make it good for me. I had been
secretly in love with my best friend (a girl) for years, but
I was afraid of judgement from my family and afraid of
rejection. Finally I had the nerve to tell her how I felt and
on our first night together, she gave me seven amazing,
mind-blowing orgasms. It was an earth shattering night and
here we are, five years later, happily married with a house
and all our pets and still those mind-blowing orgasms.”



“I have to have my asshole licked. Seriously, I won’t be able
to come unless there is some tongue action in the backdoor.
The first time I had sex involved my former partner sucking
my dick (technically enlarged clit from testosterone) and it
was going on for what seemed like an hour (with breaks to
jerk me off) so they took me be surprise and licked my
asshole and I almost came immediately! So now I am very into
butt stuff.”

—19/Trans male/Bisexual


“I was laying in my bunk bed on my iPod touch. I was 13 and
confused about my sexuality. I started watching videos of
guys kissing and began touching my erection. I didn’t really
know what was going on, but eventually I felt this intense
pleasure. About 20 minutes later, I did it again.”


Oscar Bolton Green for BuzzFeed News


“After 10 years of marriage and never having an orgasm, I
found myself single again. A friend told me I needed to
discover who I was again, including sexually. I ordered a
dildo online and as a free gift, they sent a small finger
vibrator too. Thinking nothing of it, I put the vibrator
aside. I tried to explore with the dildo, but an orgasm never
seemed to reveal itself to me. In a moment of desperation I
tried the vibrator on my clit and OMG. I will never forget
the feeling of my whole body seizing up with pleasure. It
took me a few minutes to recover. But from then on out, clit
stimulation has been the only way I can orgasm. But I’m not



“I was in high school and my older sister surprised me with a
vibrator. Was using it over my underwear for the first time
because of how sensitive I was. I was not expecting much to
happen. BOOM. Instantaneous orgasm. I. Did. Not. Stop.
Masturbating. For. The. Rest. Of. The. Damn. Night.”



“I thought I was immune. I have an extremely insensitive body
and from second base to oral, none of it stimulated me in the
way most people described it. Sex was okay — albeit a little
meh — for me until I got my first boyfriend. One night I
decided to try dirty talking, which really turned him and,
strangely enough, turned ME on in a way physical stimulation
never did. Things got hot and heavy but through it all, I was
the one in control, teasing him, making him work for it. I’m
not sure exactly why or how, but the psychological power trip
and feeling wanted were what did it for me and that was the
night I had my first orgasm.”



“Oral sex. He hummed while doing it, which created extra
vibration and I had my first orgasm.”



“The first seriously intense orgasm I had was when I was with
my ex. I had never bottomed before we got together, so the
whole thing was new to me. I was riding him and he hit my
prostate just right and I came hands free. It’s a completely
different sensation from normally masturbating. I thought I
would never stop convulsing.”


Oscar Bolton Green for BuzzFeed News


“When I was younger and started to jack off, I would never
come. I would sit there for what seemed like forever just
wasting lotion (though my dick was the most moisturized body
part on anyone west of the Mississippi). It wasn’t until I
started to spread my legs and played with my perineum and ass
that I would not only come, but literally empty out.”



“My first orgasm was fricking great and a little
embarrassing. I had a girlfriend over and we were making out
and things got a little serious. We slipped into the shower
for a hot makeout sesh and there was some fingering, and she
was a bit older than me so she was GOOD at it. I climaxed,
collapsed onto the floor, and knocked myself unconscious on
the edge of the tub. I woke up to a throbbing headache and a
handsome EMT guy trying to help my naked ass stand up. We are
good friends now, but I ended up with a concussion and that
girl ditched me after she called 911. Never heard from her
again, but I have a new awesome friend and a great story
about my first orgasm.”

—21/Cis Female/Pan


“l have to have clitoral stimulation. Penetration feels
really nice at first, but eventually it doesn’t feel like
anything. The first time I used vibrations on my clit was
insane. I used a (clean) electric toothbrush and after 30
seconds I was squirting. I had no idea what was happening and
I thought I had peed! Turns out that’s kinda normal. The
orgasm itself was decent, but I was covered in fluids. It was



“I was 18 and working at a restaurant. A coworker and I had
been crushing hard on each other. We had never gotten
together and one night a group of guy coworkers were going to
go clubbing. He let me know he was coming to my place after
they were done. He came prepped with condoms and Gatorade,
which at the time seemed like a strange combo. He was very
active and the sex was incredible. The mattress ended up half
off my bed with me awkwardly positioned on the box spring. He
was penetrating me and that’s when I realized, it’s about
to happen, I’m going to have an orgasm

We both came at the same time and really needed the Gatorade



“I was probably about 10 years old and was laying down
napping in the back of an RV. The vibration of my thighs from
the movement of the vehicle started to feel really nice and I
remember moving my body along with it until suddenly I
orgasmed. Of course I had no idea what had happened, but
let’s just say I was a fan of car-ride napping from then on.”



“The first time I had a orgasm was when I was taking a bath,
I used the shower head. I wasn’t planning on having an orgasm
(because at that time I didn’t know how) but it felt so good
and then, BAM. It just happened and it felt AMAZING!

After that I took a lot of showers.”



“My girlfriend sat on top of me last year and held a vibrator
to me until I came. Was never able to get off before then.
Sometimes that’s the only way I still can.”

—19/Trans male/Straight

Oscar Bolton Green for BuzzFeed News


“I lost my virginity seven months ago, but it wasn’t until a
few weeks ago when I ordered a vibrating dildo that I
experienced my first mind-blowing orgasm. It felt different
than the orgasms I had had with my partner and it left me
completely satisfied and speechless for a couple minutes
afterward. Ladies, explore your options! Who knows what you
might discover!”



“I had taken a pot edible and felt incredibly sensitive down
there during a shower. Started playing around and it was the
most amazing feeling in the world.”



“I don’t have an interest in sex, but I do masturbate from
time to time. I used to only use clitoral stimulation because
I was kinda scared of pain, but one day I tried to finger
myself with another couple fingers on my clit and I had my
first BIG orgasm.”



“I was a young and eager learner. I had a major back surgery
when I was twelve that left me bedridden for almost a month.
I was staying with my grandmother who was very much a part of
the local church. Well, her bible study felt bad for me
having to be stuck in bed, so they all chipped in and bought
me a mini laptop. Long story short, within a day I was
feeling myself to porn I had found. I discovered the clitoris
and never looked back. Thanks, church ladies!”



“Well, it was an accident. You know how some people can have
orgasms from certain workouts and yoga? So now imagine a
younger me doing some more advanced yoga and then, wham! I
get this tingly awesome feeling. I didn’t realize it at the
time but once I got home (yes, I was in a studio) my
underwear was a mess and realized, I just was sort of
masturbating. I haven’t done yoga in public since.”



“I was really naive growing up, so much to the point I didn’t
know how to masturbate. Well, upon getting my first boyfriend
who popped my cherry, he was surprised to find I didn’t even
know how to masturbate. He ended up behind me, guiding me on
the process and when I orgasmed, it was the biggest shock of
my life. I sat there bewildered that I could have been
experiencing this for years. So yeah, my first orgasm was him
teaching me to masturbate.”



“I was probably in 10th (maybe 11th?) grade and I had bruise
on my hip from bumping into a table or something. So there I
was in bed, reading explicit (and probably Avengers)
fanfiction, and my laptop kept digging into that bruise while
I was rubbing myself. It was fantastic, euphoric. I’m finally
to the point now that I can orgasm without being in pain but
it’s still definitely the quickest route.”


Oscar Bolton Green for BuzzFeed News


“Shockingly enough it was when I lost my virginity! In a last
ditch effort to come, I decided to ride him even though my
legs were killing me from working out. I have to say it was
the best choice I’d made all week. I found the best angle and
I worked for it. It was pretty awesome but I couldn’t even
stand up afterwards. Riding him is a lot of work!”



“I can simply say, my heart needs to be open before my body
is. I was frustrated for years because I had such a difficult
time having an orgasm, but now I accept that about myself
that for me, sex is deeply emotional, so having a strong
heart connection is the most important factor to my having an
orgasm. If I am alone, I basically think about someone I love
to make it work, but mostly masturbation bores me.”



“When I was in high school, we had HBO on the living room TV.
I would stay up later than my mom and sister, and watch
Real Sex on the lowest volume. I wouldn’t touch myself
for fear that they would pop out around the corner and see.
Instead, I squeezed my abs and did Kegels in succession until
I orgasmed. It’s still my favorite way to come.”



“The first notable orgasm that I had with a partner was when
I was 19. I had been seeing a girl for a few weeks and we
were at her house alone, so one thing led to another and she
started going down on me. It was incredible. I can’t remember
how long it lasted, but it couldn’t have been long before I



“I was 27 years old when I had my first orgasm. I was able to
manually stimulate myself to get close but could never go
over. My long-distance boyfriend convinced me to buy a Pocket
Rocket and ‘walked’ me through using it over the phone…you
know, applying different types of pressure in different
places, moving it to various parts of the clitoris instead of
straight on, etc. The orgasm took me COMPLETELY by surprise.
I felt like there wasn’t even a warning. I just started
screaming, ‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” over and over
again for a couple of minutes. My throat was sore by the time
it was over, I had dropped the phone, and all I wanted was a
blessedly-long nap.”



“Sometimes I feel like the only one who prefers this for an
orgasm, but P-in-V is the best way to get an orgasm for me.
Oral sex has always been just meh for me. My clit is
just too sensitive for that to be as enjoyable and the orgasm
isn’t as intense and rarely happens. When I figured out the
right position to G-spot orgasm, OMG! The first time my
boyfriend at the time and I tried doggy style, I got there,
multiple times. I find that either that, or lying on my
stomach puts my partner and I in position for the best orgasm
for me.”


Oscar Bolton Green for BuzzFeed News


“While inside my boyfriend, I told him to play with my
nipples when he wanted me to come. At the right moment he
reached out with both hands and stimulates my nipples
simultaneously and it sent me over the edge instantly. To
this day he always knows he has a ‘go switch’ when we are
having sex.”



“When I was 14, I masturbated for the first time to some
really bad gay porn on the home computer after school. It was
taking forever and I thought I was doing the wrong thing, but
all of a sudden I felt it coming and needless to say, 14
years of jizz went everywhere. I thought I broke my dick.”



“In order to achieve a mind-blowing orgasm, I need to be face
down with my legs straight and with clitoral stimulation.
I’ll usually ride a guy, straighten my legs (so I’m lying
down on top of him). Occasionally I can achieve an orgasm if
we’re having sex from behind while I lie face down on the bed
while he stimulates my clitoris. But legs have to be



“I get in my head when I’m with a partner, and even though I
can get myself off easily, I think too hard when a guy is
trying to get me off. I got really drunk with my childhood
friend once and we had sex, and he was able to make me come.
I think it was the combination of lowered inhibitions from
alcohol and being with someone I completely trusted that
allowed me to (finally) come with another person.”



“I wasn’t able to orgasm until late into my college years. I
had been dating my then-boyfriend for quite a few months and
although the sex was fun, he could never quite get me there.
That was until I watched him dance with another girl at a
club. I had never been cheated on or anything close, so
watching them grind got me incredibly jealous, but
surprisingly aroused. We had sex like animals that night and
the thought of them grinding raced through my brain the whole
time and I found myself having my very first true and intense
orgasm. It is now a major part of all my fantasies.”



“So I’ve been on antidepressants since before I started
really trying to have an orgasm. In particular, an
antidepressant that makes it notoriously hard to come. Like,
really hard. So, I finally took a step when I went away to
college and bought myself a vibrator. It took a little
practice, but when I got there, boy did I get there. It was a
good one and it’s only gotten better since!”


Oscar Bolton Green for BuzzFeed News


“I was fingered by my girlfriend at the time. I don’t have
amazing, hardcore orgasms — more like the kind that ebb and
flow over time then leave me weak at the knees and grinning
from ear to ear. It took me a while to figure out that it was
actually an orgasm. I usually need plenty of clit play and
G-spot stimulation and a partner who is in tune with my needs
and gender identity.”

—19/Trans Man/Bisexual


“My wife and I waited ’til the wedding night. And we were
both virgins. It was my first time seeing a woman completely
naked romantically, and same for her with a man. Not sure how
it happened really, but we both came together during first
intercourse. It was pretty special — serendipitous, one could



“Took until I was 28. I had a conservative religious
upbringing. I lost my virginity at 24. In general, I learned
that it was just a matter of relaxing, which I mean mostly
from a mental standpoint but also physically. Even though I
wasn’t fully aware of it, I was very uncomfortable with any
expression of my own sexuality throughout my adolescence and
into my 20s. I didn’t even masturbate. The first few times I
had sex (with women; hadn’t figured out I was bi yet), I
didn’t come. I reached orgasm for the first time while
masturbating — something that happened very late in the game
for me! First time I came with a partner was with a guy going
down on me. Interestingly, my experiences with men helped me
reach a level of comfort where I could orgasm with both male
and female partners.”



“I’d been having sex for five years when I had my first real
orgasm. I’d just given up on it ever happening and assumed
there was something wrong with me. I bought the Womanizer off of Amazon on a whim and
that thing honestly changed my life. It took some serious
patience and exploration to figure out what does it for me,
but now I can reliably get myself off with just about
anything so long as I have about 30 minutes of clitoral



“Penetrative intercourse has always been difficult for me to
enjoy. I have vaginismus and after having several guys
dismiss my actual medical problem by saying it was just an
excuse for me to refuse sex with them, my first boyfriend
came along and he was very understanding. He did his best to
communicate with me and make sure I wasn’t in any sort of
pain but was enjoying myself. My first orgasm was through
cunnilingus. Despite us both being rather inexperienced in
the bedroom, he was surprisingly very good at going downtown.
He got the job done and for the first time, I felt like even
if my sexual experiences would have to be handled with care,
I could still have a fulfilling physical relationship with my



“The first time I had an orgasm was completely by accident. I
was watching Nip/Tuck which was one of the raunchiest
shows I had ever seen at that age. I decided to get a snack.
The other side of the counter is elevated, so I lifted myself
to see the TV a bit and a sex scene came on. I immodestly got
erect and the dishwasher was going below and vibrating the
counter. It felt amazing and I just came in my shorts there
in the kitchen. I thought it was the best thing and thought,
‘How do I do that again?'”



“One word: Pillow.”


Lixia Guo / BuzzFeed News

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