Seriously Though How Terrible Are Your Migraines News


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1 You’ve woken up
with a migraine.

2 Or
had it totally come out of nowhere and
hit you like a speeding runaway
train.

3 A train that was
aiming for your head.

4 If
you had to rate the pain of the actual
migraine headache on a 1-10 scale, you’d
say something between 1,000 and
infinity.

5
Post-migraine, you tend to feel…foggy and
not 100% sure wtf is going on around
you.

6 …also sleepy and
sad.

7 …achy all
over.

8 …super
forgetful.

9 …like a puppet
on floppy strings.

10
Your migraines come with a batsignal that
announces their arrival — constant
yawning, intense food cravings, sore
neck, an aura, etc.

11 You
get an aura that basically blinds you
with lights, shapes, specks,
etc.

12 Or you smell an
odor that isn’t there.

13 Or
you hear sounds that technically speaking
aren’t actually happening.

14 Or
your aura causes
numbness/tingling/pins-and-needles.

15
You’ve been known to puke during a
migraine.

16
Aaaand diarrhea comes with the
territory.

17
Throwing up while having diarrhea is
kinda your thing.

18 Your migraines
can last several hours.

19 Or sometimes
for an entire day.

20 Ugh maybe even
2-3 days?

21 Fuck it, maybe
up to a week.

22 Rough estimate?
8-10 eternities.

23 You get
migraines at least once a
year.

24 Lol actually
once a month.

25 You
basically schedule in about one migraine
a week.

26 You
get migraines every day that ends in
Y.

27
Even the dimmest of lights feel like they
are tearing through your brain when you
have a migraine.

28 And also
beforehand.

29 And also
after.

30
During a migraine, quiet sounds feel like
they’re screams coming from inside your
skull.

31 And
for a couple days before and/or
after.

32
It’s not uncommon to miss work or school
because you have a
migraine.

33 Or are 90% sure
you’re about to get one.

34 Or just had
one.

35 Or
had one last week but you still feel
terrible.

36
You’ve tried explaining your migraines to
professors, co-workers,
managers.

37 Your migraine
is triggered by….red wine.

38 …aged
cheeses.

39 …your period /
hormonal changes.

40 …processed
foods.

41
…stress.

42 …strong
smells.

43 …bright
lights.

44 …changes to
your sleep routine.

45 …changes in the
weather.

46
…exercise.

47
…chocolate.

48
…caffeine.

49
…literally everything good and delicious
in life.

50 You
don’t step one foot outside your home
without migraine rescue
meds.

51 And a backup
supply just in case.

52
There’s literally no event or food or
drink special enough to get you to expose
yourself to a trigger.

53 You
keep ear plugs and a sleep mask in your
bedroom / in your bag at all
times.

54 You
are never not exceedingly well stocked in
Gatorade / Pedialyte.

55
Every so often you see, hear, or smell
something that makes you wonder if you’re
getting a migraine.

56
You’ve had to suppress your rage when
someone called your migraine a
“headache.”

57 Or
when someone suggested trying meditation
to treat them.

58 Or
when a person suggested cutting _________
out of your diet.

59 And
with that person who said, “It’s probably
stress-related. Are you
stressed?”

60 You
have a post-migraine ritual you never
miss that involves…Gatorade/Pedialyte and
saltines/dry toast.

61 …taking a bath
or shower.

62
….eating fast food/takeout/some kind of
“junk” food.

63 …stretching or
doing very gentle yoga.

64 …getting a
back/neck/scalp/head rub.

65
…lying around with a hot or cold
compress.

66
Telling everyone to leave you alone
forever.

67
Your post-migraine ritual is sleep. Just
sleep.

68 Maybe with some
crying?

69
Sometimes mid-migraine you’ve thought
“Hey, if this is the time my head
actually explodes, well, at least I
wouldn’t be in pain
anymore.”

70 You
cry as soon as you realize a migraine is
coming on.

71 You
weep during your migraines (as quietly as
possible).

72 As
soon as your migraine is over, here come
the water works.

73
You’ve been known to have a good sob in
the days following your
migraines.

74
There’s literally no stage of your
migraine that’s tear-free.

75 You
are convinced that most people think that
migraines can’t possibly be as bad as you
say they are.

76 You
think non-migraine people who complain
about PMS have it damn
easy.

77 You
think non-migraine people who complain
about PMS should not be allowed to speak
around you.

78
You’re confident that having a migraine
is in the top three most painful things a
human being can experience.

79 And you’ve said
that to people.

80 Many
times.

81
Checking items off this list has made you
think you’re getting a
migraine.

82 That’s not
funny.

Seriously Though How Terrible Are Your
Migraines?

You got: Wow, your migraines are rough.

Your migraine is really fucking awful —
because every migraine is really
fucking awful! But, OK, technically you
checked up to a third of the options
here.

You got: Oof. Your migraines are bad.

Your migraine is really fucking awful —
because every migraine is really
fucking awful! But, OK, technically you
checked up to 2/3 of the options here,
so, damn your migraines are pretty damn
bad. We wish you healing vibes, total
silence, and complete darkness.

You got: YIKES, your migraines are bad.

Your migraine is really fucking awful —
because every migraine is really
fucking awful! But, OK, technically you
checked between 68% and 100% of the
options here. So, WOW, your migraines
must be really freaking bad. We salute
your strength and resilience and hope
for a magical end to all migraines
forever!

ID: 10164605

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